Twilight Embrace

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Twilight Embrace - Stars fade into Darkness

Today I feel like the stupidest (if not selfish) person in the world! Iwent into a DBfest party becuase I felt sooo good only to be felt like a used walking pot, the guys didn't even bother how was I feeling or even left some loots for me. When they saw me crying they thought it was because GR didn't show up and we had only a few branches to go?! I don't owe these guys an explaination.

I later gotten into a fight with a friend by ending up cussing her for stupid reasons about yestereday (read previous blog it has something to do with that). She didn't even want to believe I said that either and I'm not surprised since I'm not my usual self. I happened to cuss her for selfish stupid reasons, like I was alone suffering from breathing yesterday but she was on seige so she couldn't hear me out; neither of them could. I should've known better but I guess I couldn't swallow that fact so I threw myself into anger. Stupid human emotions, I'd glady trade them for a better sense of logic like Symm. I don't care if I don't care...at least no one has to get hurt from what I say either. Damn why couldn't I be so omnipotent? I apologized to my friend but I don't think she will talk to me, let alone keep up our friendship because she was so irrirtated from what I said. She had alot of reasons too as well especially when she just wanted to socialize and she was even concerned about me but noooooooooo.......... I had to damn shove it in her face! If that wasn't bad enough, I had to go bitter with Eri as well! *Sigh* I guess I was better off hyperventilating and if I'm lucky, I'll die from suffocation.

Well since I'm sooo frsutrated and throwing rants right now, I might as well add that I'm quite annoyed at everyone in their blogs has a map coded layout and as for me, I had to start from scratch!! Also I had to do stupid document from my mom that seemed simple enough but I actually had to make a PERFECT XEROX COPY of it actually! wasted it about 3 papers! ARGH! can't I ever make one of her documents done right in just one trial?!? Gargh! I lost my drive to make Twisted Hearts after that!! I feel so stupid!!

It's not a complete loss though, I get to had fun with Jade on YM and saw her blog. Found a MP3 that could help me last in a MP longer, better too since my personality suddenly went from quite to nice. The song kinda made me forget about the botters, the selfishness and lamers of RO. The only thing mattered was we we had one common goal: To fight and defeat the forces of evil. It also made me think of RTA and my onw RTA version fic. I know it sounds lame and too classically heroic but sure helps me pass the time. I will have to make that RTA fic sometime. Also had a party with a Paladin, I told him that I had a fight recently so everything went easy and ok for awhile, even though he died at one point, the guy was even a level higher than me. That's about the only good stuff I guess. I must be falling apart from my old self...I feel like staring at a broken mirror.

Stars shined on 6:37 AM
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